2010 Darwin Awards, watch for number 7

Well day 4 of being stuck in the house dying on this flu bug, so with nothing else to do I found this on int'net. Number 7 should be a warning to us all.


2010 DARWIN AWARDS

You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado here
are the 2010 Darwin awards.

8th Place
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve
his car keys.

7th Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran,"
accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

6th Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8-foot hole for protection from
the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it
collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used
their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It
took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones
was pronounced dead at a hospital.

5th Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a
bicycle shop he was robbing. Death was caused when the long torch he had
placed in his mouth to keep his hands free, rammed into the base of his
skull as he hit the floor.

4th Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who
said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and
pull the trigger.

3rd Place
After walking around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a
man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop
was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a
few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly
returned fire and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The
robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene
investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The
subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds
from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONOURABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2
a.m. So they lit a stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what
would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said
they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle
of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped
along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the midpoint of
the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham,
who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of
lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and
then tied the other (!) to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the
cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived
his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.
Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated
elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs
and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing
elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer
force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the
ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to
evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those
freak accidents that proves....shit happens!

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT AND APPROPRIATE TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING
THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL!

Oh dear Kev.

Sounds like you are bored out of your minds.
Get well soon.

Team Voodoo needs you !

Don't get bored and try for an entry in the 2011 awards!
As Jose says, get well soon, there has been some strange goings on in the team event recently.
We might get points deducted for you having flu
Andrew K

Oh dear Kev.

Just to let you know that man-flu is not confined to the Voodoos - I'm suffering too, I don't think Tuesday night in Lockerbie helped very much!! Hopefully I'll be better by Tuesday but it's not looking promising at the moment

Whilst I'm on could I ask if there would be any strong objections to moving the final winter league run from the Saturday to the Sunday? Our postponed Xmas party has been rearranged for the Friday before so could do with some recovery time - ha ha!

Not sure our team captain would agree to that.

ATB

Kev

Render wants more time for a bender hahahaha NAE CHANCE !