BREAKING NEWS.....CAZZA JOINS THE VOODOO SQUAD....BREAKING NEWS....

It has just been confirmed that CAZZA has now joined the VOODOO team on a season long contract. Team manager Boardman is delighted at the news that this deal has finally gone though. He said "Yeah we've been watching Cazza for a while now and felt that the time was right to approach her and make an offer". Cazza will release he a statement later in the week.

That was an audacious swoop by Jose to secure the services of a seasoned campaigner.
When did we get a transfer window? And how much did it cost?
Could make it three-in-a-row for team Voodoo, Cazza will bring her point scoring prowess to the Voodoo camp!
Andrew

Okay okay . . . I admit it was a hush hush deal and on the matter of the transfer fee no comment Mr press reporter

Mind you with my recent athletic form and the incident of kindles going bump in the night I am surprised the Voddoo captain did not pull the plug on the deal

I would just like to say that I look forward to wreaking havoc with my fellow Vodooers and thank my loyal team of Cazza's Dazzlers for wishing me well in my new camp
Regards
Caza

Andrew the window opened when I had to go to the bathroom.
It is now closed and all deals have been concluded.
There are of course loan deals which will be subject to scrutiny by the Board man.

Render's Racers Statement:
We are very satisfied with our first allocation of athletes in the opening draft of this seasons ADAC summer team event with a fine blend of youth and experience and the strong potential from the new sensation everyone is calling 'Oliver'.
We look forward to the second draft when some more exciting athletes will be available.
A further statement will be made at that time.

Don't be a Waster, Go with the Racers!

Now all we need is the release of Top 's statement

...............unless there is a total media blackout in the Top Cat camp.


Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh the plot thickens.


Meeooowwwww !

I am open to offers for my services, I know I am a bit of a unknown as I am trying to come back from injury so I might end up on the bench again, but if I can get my form back there is still a little life left in the legs yet. What is the team managers starting bids? Of cause my agent will want a cut.

If I don’t get any decent offers then I will have to put my self on E-Bay.

ATB

Tahr

Let's meet and talk Kev.

As Top Cat's unofficial spokesperson - Andrew!!

I've got to say I was very proud of the team's performance on Tuesday.
And hope we can continue to grow as a group as the season goes on.
All this talk of transfers and e-bay is just a distraction.
If any more super humans become available then so be it.
No mind games here!
Just as long as there are plenty of toilet opportunities along the way the team will be just fine.

And I've still no got a team!!!!!!!!

I smell a RAT !

Not only does the Top Cat leader not wish to speak but claims there are "no mind games "

Hmmmmm

Maybe this is just a smoke screen and she is actually abroad scouting out new kittens for her litter ?

Who knows ?

The Racers are delighted to announce a signing coup, securing the services of Andrew 'duracell' Kennedy ahead of the opposition.

Team supremo Andy was said to be over the moon with the acquisition of the former Voodoo and part time spokesperson for the Top Cats, "Andrew is a consistently strong performer and will be a key asset for the team the this summer"

After last night's second team event the Racers are the early pace setters despite being hampered by the draft process which has seen the Voodoos allocated 7 runners to date, Top Cats 5 and Racers only 4 plus one guest slot.

"The team event is definitely a marathon, not a sprint, so it is far too early to speculate" said Andy, "but we are delighted with the early performances. "

So far neither of the other team leaders have made a statement.

BREAKING NEWS...........BREAKING NEWS............

Team Voodoo statement:

After last night's second event of the year Render's Racers seem to think that it's all over.
Team Captain Boardman was unavailable for selection due to work commitments and this left the door open for Render and Top Cat kitten Nicola to make a smash and grab effort for the points. With some good performances on the night Boardman spoke later to our reporter on the phone.

"Yeah well at the end of the day the team that is most consistent will win - it's that simple ! People can make out that it's all over but it's very very early days. Credit to the team last though. They showed character and I was pleased to see our new signings Mark and Helen get on the score sheet. It's a team game."

Asked whether or not the news of want away Kennedy had reached him he said;

"Well good luck to the boy. He's done well in the Voodoo team and helped us retain the league but I think he might regret his decision to go abroad. The grass isn'y always greener .........ken ? "

Meanwhile there are rumours of unrest in the Top Cat camp. Team leader Nicola was not prepared to comment on any rift between her and Gordy over what lorries to run in front of whilst running but new boy Smiler seemed to be happy back running again.




YOU CAN'T OUT DO THE VOODOO !

COMMENT FROM KENNEDY CAMP:
Thanks to the ringing endorsement from Capn Andy, I'm glad to be hooking up with Renders Racers.
I feel it will take my career up a notch over the coming months and give me a much needed shot in the arm.
Whether my move will dent the Voodoo title hopes, who knows.
But after receiving some unsolicited messages last night after the news broke I feel this could be a long summer of recriminations, back stabbing and point jiggery pokery.
No further comment at this time.

RACERS RACERS RACERS

LIVE FROM VOODOO HEADQUARTERS............................BREAKING NEWS................

"Aye well I thought it widne be long before he spoke out. See tha thing is that once you're a Voodoo and you've lived through the success that we have here where else is there to go ? "

"The boy sent me a text last night and said he jist had tae leave and I jist left it at that. But aw this stuff aboot texting is jist a loada rubbish. He was the one who sent me a text saying "Gimmi an R" so I knew that our relationship had sunk tae a new low . It's a shame 'cos I really like the guy and he's come on a lot but no one's bigger than the team. A mean Ronaldo and Beckham found out that so I hope he realises jist whit he's got to do. No hard feelin's like."

BACK TO SUSAN WITH THE WEATHER.







YOU CAN'T OUTDO THE VOODOO !

COMMENT FROM KENNEDY CAMP:
There will be no further comment from this member of Renders Racers at this time.
I will consult with Andy and prepare a statement which will be released in due course.
I must hasten to add that legal teams are being consulted.

RACERS RACERS RACERS

PRESS RELEASE FROM TOP CAT TEAM MEMBERS



AFTER A CLOSED DOOR MEETING WITH TEAM MEMBERS OF THE TOP CAT
ATHLETES THEY FELT THEY SHOULD SPEAK OUT
IN SUPPORT OF THEIR TEAM MANAGER. SENIOR MEMBER OF THE TEAM BIG AL (ALAN LEGG) WHO
IS WORLD RENOWN FOR HIS ACHIEVEMENTS IN THE SPORT WINNER OF THE ADAC CLUBMANSHIP AWARD 2001. BRONZE MEDAL IN
THE ADAC CROSS COUNTRY 1997, AND SPOT PRIZE WINNER AT POLLOCK PARK CROSS
COUNTRY 1998. AND HIGHLY
RESPECTED BY WORLD GOVERNING BODIES INCLUDING THE OLYIMPIC QUANGO WAS ELECTED AS SPOKESMAN. HIS STATEMENT
FROM THE TEAM WAS AS FOLLOWS.


WE AS A TEAM FEEL IT IS ONLY RIGHT TO RESPOND TO SOME OF THE
COMMENTS THAT HAVE RECENTLY BEEN PUBLISHED BY THE PRESS. AS A TEAM WE ARE 125%
BEHIND OUR ROOKIE MANAGER AND THINK THAT SHE HAS SHOWED MATURITY BEYOND HER YEARS BY NOT
RESPONDING TO SOME OF THE MIND GAMES
BEING PLAYED OUT IN THE EARLY PART OF
THIS CAMPAIGN. WE ARE CONVINCED SHE WILL
LEAVE HER MARK THIS SEASON WHATEVER THE FINAL OUTCOME.


WHAT CAN WE SAY ABOUT THE HARDENED CAMPAIGNER JOSE BOARDMAN.
HIS TRACK RECORD SPEAKS FOR ITSELF BUT, MUCH AS HE WOULD LIKE WE WILL NOT GET
INVOLVED IN HIS MIND GAMES. WE HAVE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE.


AS FOR RENDER WE HAVE
TO FEEL SOME SYMPATHY AS HE CAME
FROM THE SPORT OF RUGBY WHERE THE DAMAGE MAY WELL HAVE OCCURRED. HE HAS TO
REALISE THAT HE NEEDS TO INTRODUCE A LITTLE MORE FINESSE TO HIS TACTICS IN THIS
SPORT AND NOT ALWAYS ADOPT THOSE OF RUGBY (BULL IN A CHINA SHOP)


Excuse me a
moment – just off to have a little spray !


RIGHT SORRY ABOUT THAT A TOP CAT MOMENT THERE – NOW BACK TO
RENDER HE HAS DONE WELL SO FAR BUT HE WILL FIND OUT THINGS ARE GOING TO GET A LOT TOUGHER FROM NOW ON.
HAS HE GOT HIS TEAMS BACKING AND THE MOTIVATIONAL SKILLS TO PULL IT OFF? ONLY TIME
WILL TELL.


NOW ON TO ANDREW KENNEDY. WE AS A TEAM CANNOT
UNDERSTAND SOME OF THE COMMENTS HE HAS
MADE AS KENNEDY SPOKESMAN AND BELIEVE THESE HAVE BEEN MADE TO ENHANCE HIS OWN
CAREER ONLY AND DETRIMENTAL TO HIS PARTNERS.
THERE IS NO DOUBTING THIS MANS POTENTIAL
BUT WE ALL KNOW HIS BACKGROUND IN JOURNALIISM. ITS ONE THING TALKING THE
TALK BUT HE BETTER BELIEVE IT’S A HARDER JOB WALKING THE WALK. PUT UP OR SHUT
UP. DOES OUR SPORT REALLY NEED OR WELCOME CHARACTERS SUCH AS THIS?


WE AS ATEAM WILL WORK OUR A---- OFF FOR OUR MANAGER AND WILL
GIVE WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BE COMPETITIVE IN ALL EVENTS. WINNING IS NOT ACHIEVED
IN THE MEDIA BUT ON THE ROADS AND TRACK . WE AS TEAM SAY BRING IT ON.


OH AND BY THE WAY SORRY I COULD NOT MAKE IT TO TEAM EVENT
NUMBER TWO AS I HAD HAD A HARD DAY TRYING TO KEEP THE VOODOO MEMBER WHO LIVES
IN MY HOUSE – OH SORRY HER HOUSE ! - IN ORDER AND HAD TO RESORT TO A LITTLE
INTAKE OF THE RED STUFF WHICH MEANT I
WAS BUSY SPRAYING ALL EVENING SORRY MRS
TOP CAT . . .

Signed
Alan Legg Alias BIG AL

The Committee Handling ADAC Media Publications (CHAMP) reminds its members that Cyber Bullying is not acceptable and any team member found guilty will be docked points. All offences to date have been pardoned but future breaches will not be tolerated.

BREAKING NEWS..............BREAKING NEWS.................

According to sources team Voodoo have made an official complaint to the committee for rulings on aggravating posts otherwise known as the C.R.A.P.
We report live from Voodoo HQ.............

"Well I think it's gone too far now wi that post by Big Al. A mean it was jist oota order ken ? All we want tae dae is run and run like the wind but he sure has stirred it up now like. Believe it or not he actually used tae be a Voodoo too. I think it's time we jist sat doon and calmed doon a bit. Let the legs do the talking not the Legg ! (If ya get me). I jist want everyone tae get on wi each other. If it carries on any mair I'll jist have to report tha lotta ye to the Bureau if Investigations into Tele-communicative Controversial Hearsay (B.I.T.C.H.)"

So folks I wonder if that is the final say on the matter this week ?
It's a long week in the world of team events and this week has to be one of the longest.

José